Yes, I did that.

4 days of fun

2009-12-23T06:22:40Z

Nothing has happened but everything has changed.
It was one night of talking on the phone.
The next day when he brushed me it was electric. I love that feeling. i feel stupid reading into it thinking it means something.
I am going to enjoy it.
Why not?
I feel happy today.

Random old post

2009-12-22T07:32:22Z

i was born into i didn't enlist I was drafted.

This year has been terrible for my body. I went the wrong direction. I am planning and plotting my new course. This is not it.

I realized last night how almost all my interactions with Kasey were positive. My relationship bank was super full thats why it was so hard to get over him. He knows how to be a good Boyfriend. I hope I have learned to be a better girlfriend. It has been almost a year since he first dumped me. I still miss him. That was real, for me anyway.

2-16-09 Yeah, I'm waiting for
Todd to get here to move it in

muti_v @ 2009-12-11T14:04:00

2009-12-11T22:04:54Z

Val Emmich
No more

This endless cycle
Start over again
Just like a bicycle
You never really forgot
Just get on the seat
And move your feet
And gradually
Pick up speed
Then just when you think
You're safe and sound
You hit a bump
Fall to the ground

I'm talking about love
I'm talking about life
That's the way I see it
I never really get it right

But after I fall I see it all
Just when and where
I dropped the ball
So next time around I'll hold on tight
But this time
It's another oversight

Lying on my back
I don't wanna get up
There's something peaceful about
Just giving up
No more ups and downs
It's just too much
No more hard goodbyes
No more love
And no more
Trying to be tough

No more

I'm not getting up
i'm not getting up
This time I'm really stuck
I'm not getting up

WSP on the back of the car

2009-12-05T09:17:18Z

you know he's a recovering alcholic?
Where did he drink?
At my house when I thought he was out smoking.
You mean he keeps the alchohl in his truck.
no it's probably in my recycle bin at home.
i have trouble beliveing that

Weird
Sureal

I was shocked to think they would think I'd drink in front of my son.
I am not scared away. I think. Maybe a little.

i didn't know he had any thing to drink toight.
I asked him once about the empty cans in my gabage. no big deal to me.

muti_v @ 2009-10-31T01:56:00

2009-10-31T09:22:08Z

Went to a haunted house with an old friend I haven't seen in years. It is so nice to see old friends reconect. That makes things ok. finding strength and peace in a lasting love. I am blessed.

sleeping

2009-10-09T16:00:35Z

I am worried about so many things my screw ups are showing the more I try and do the finishing work. sad, heart breaking and frustrating.Some mistakes compound as time goes on. Thank God for my job. enough of a distraction that and long enough that I can sleep at the end of the day. Nothing to do but just keep going on. The POD leaves today. I give Kasey back his card.

K

2009-08-22T01:34:17Z

I liked thinking I was worth the higher standard he had for everything. I find myself holding on to the good things he said, the things he said that made me feel like it might happen... Those were just things. Not meant to be lies. Not true. He just likes to keep his options open. He told me that. That is a no. God I miss him.

Bring it.

2009-08-16T17:25:13Z

I am not self motivated, or I don't work well alone. This may never be done. I am heartbroken, overwhelmed and alone again.

Collin Hay

2009-08-10T17:59:40Z

Collin Hay concert. I had a of fun. It was at the festival of the river in Arlington. I want to go next year. I should have more time then.

Mud pie.

2009-08-06T23:16:29Z

Working with this level lite was like making a big mud pie... Well, when I wasn't practicing my french. Lol.

My cat.

2009-08-05T01:59:09Z

muti_v @ 2009-07-31T11:04:00

2009-07-31T18:06:22Z

More Than This
Missy HIggins

I could feel at the time there was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they're blowing

As free as the wind 
And hopefully learning why the seas and the tide
They have no way of turning

More than this
You know there's nothing
More than this
Tell me one thing

It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like a dream in the night
Who can say where we're going

No care in the world
Well maybe I'm learning why the seas and the tide
They have no way of turning

Oh
More than this
You know there's nothing
More than this
Tell me one thing

More than this
Oh
No
Nothing

More than this
Oh
Oh
Oh

More than this
More than this
Do you know something
More than this
Well tell me something
More than this

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

How am I going to do this?

2009-07-29T05:44:07Z

Liz canceled for watching Gabriel. Josh canceled for helping me. Yes this is a good day. I did get to run through the sprinkler at work today! Live in the moment tomorow will come soon enough.

Relationship

2009-07-28T18:35:43Z

Liz and Mike were going to take Gabriel to the seattle tomorow, for his birthday present. Something came up. I am relieved. I am surprised by how hurt I am still. I want to let it go. I wish it didn't bother me they don't even care now. Vandy might. But she will put it all on me, over reacting. I am sad, this damage to our relationship is huge. I wish i were a better person.

Let go already!

2009-07-19T06:43:47Z

What if I just stop fighting it? Trust good will come to me and let go a little more? Rick said to of you keep getting the same problems until you learn that lesson. I have lost so much, maybe my lesson is just to let go. It should be simple, but it is so hard to do. Gabriel reminds me to have fun.

Kitchen

2009-07-17T23:18:33Z

This is my old kitchen.

Friday

2009-07-17T22:12:07Z

Sitting outside the court house with Jenny.

5year old

2009-07-16T16:41:35Z

Lol. This is my 5 year old.

muti_v @ 2009-07-15T06:33:00

2009-07-15T13:33:37Z

Just saw Harry Potter. This one leaves me sad, cause I know it is near the end. I am missing the time I had with my baby listening to the books on tape. :-) I loved the time I had to stay home and be a good mom.

Hate you.

2009-07-10T05:36:34Z

'I hate you, that should hurt your feelings.' I felt not even a little hurt. It didn't change anything. I know I will love you no matter what, that nothing could change that. Then he was calm.

muti_v @ 2009-07-07T21:17:00

2009-07-08T04:17:46Z

Kinda funny how things change all at once. I just wonder what will happen next. Will I be ready?

More picture

2009-07-06T12:55:14Z

Tan hall and bathroom.

House picture

2009-07-06T12:54:05Z

Tan hall and Gabriel's room.

Paint

2009-07-05T15:18:25Z

Gabriel made designs while we painted the house.

Paint

2009-07-03T01:51:24Z

Blue done, next sand rooms...